It seems like in recent weeks I hear more and more about “famous” couples and even friends that are ending their marriages. Marriages of just a few years and marriages of 20+ years ending.
While the reasons vary, one thing remains clear…Satan is at work.
He is scheming and plotting and waiting for couples to drop their guards and then sneak in with his lies.
And we are all at risk.
Years ago, when my middle daughter was an infant, Satan was at work in my marriage. In fact, he basically ruled my marriage. My husband and I had dropped our guards and we made “things” a priority over each other and in Satan crept. Not all at once, but slowly the lies and deceit, along with the insecurities took over and we found ourselves at a crossroads. We could choose to end our marriage of at the time just about 2 years and go our separate ways, or we could fight back.
We chose to fight. And it was HARD. Very, very hard.
But the fact of the matter is, marriage is HARD. It isn’t the things of romantic comedies and fairytales. Falling in love is the easy part, it’s maintaining that love and growing that love that takes a lot of effort. And it’s easy in the busy chaos of everyday life to shift your focus on jobs, kids, house, etc and let your marriage fall to the back burner.
But then one day you look up from all the “stuff” and your marriage is gone. Perhaps not your actual spouse, but the relationship isn’t there and you are essentially two strangers sharing a home together.
I personally feel like Satan likes to prey on young couples with families. It’s easy to use the kids and their activities as reasons for not focusing on your marriage. Because let’s face it, just like marriage is hard…being a parent is HARD! And when we have our minds and focus on our kids, in Satan creeps. It can be as simple as seeing friends on social media share things about their lives and their spouses and wishing your spouse was more like that, or that your marriage was more like that. Doesn’t seem like a lot but as Satan continues to lie, the slight jealousy you feel for Betty’s marriage becomes resentment and anger. And it can steam roll from there.
When Satan attacks your marriage, you have to FIGHT BACK.
In fact, you should be prepared daily to fight off his lies, because it isn’t a matter of if he will attack, it’s just a matter of when.
So when Satan attacks your marriage you need to,
- PRAY. You need to pray for your marriage, pray for your spouse. PRAY WITH EACH OTHER. That one is huge! And something I know that I personally can struggle with. Taking the time to pray with one another, out loud, is a serious game changer in a marriage. We recently did a study called Indestructible Marriage by Jimmy Evans and he said a lot of amazing things but the one thing he said that really stuck with me is that only 2% of couples that pray together get divorced. My mind was blown! Those are some pretty amazing odds.
- READ. Not only should you be in the word daily, but you should be reading books on marriage and ways to strengthen your relationship often. It could be a daily devotional or even a Bible Study, or it could just be a book that applies to a struggle or situation you have going on.
- CONNECT. Connect with each other making sure to carve out quality time with one another. But also connect with other couples. Another thing we learned during our Indestructible Marriage study was that divorces and affairs and all the yuck of marriage runs in groups. You need to be surrounding yourselves with like minded couples who will hold you accountable and pray with you and for you and help point you and your marriage back to Jesus.
We have to stay on guard ladies and protect our marriage and that starts with being proactive and putting in the effort. The kids, the house, jobs, the stuff….none of it is a good enough excuse no matter how much we convince ourselves otherwise. And putting off our spouse until “tomorrow” or the “weekend” may be too little too late.
Satan is a liar mamas, and when he attacks your marriage…you have to fight.
You and your marriage are worth it.