As moms it is generally just a rule of thumb that we put ourselves last. We focus on our kids, husbands, jobs, school activities and about every other thing that fills our calendars before we make time for ourselves.
I have talked before about my struggles this last year about finding my identity outside of being a wife and a mother. Those things make me truly happy, they really do, but I know that I am so much more as well. I find that a lot of times my struggles boil down to a lack of self love. It’s kind of hard to love yourself if you don’t even really know who you are anymore right?!
I have taken some time over the last several months to do small things and make time for me, and while I still have a lot to learn and a long way to go, I have found 3 Keys to Self Love that really seem to help me.
KEY #1 – MEET YOUR NEEDS
I have said it before and I will say it again, you have to fill your own cup in order to pour into others. This includes your family. I know it’s hard to find the time to do this, believe me I know, but something I have learned over the last several months is I am always going to be busy. I have to make the time. You can decide how much you need and how often, but my suggestion would be to try and carve out at least 30 min a day for just you. A solo trip to Target, a hot bath, a power nap…whatever fills your cup mama. And then make sure that weekly you take some time, and I mean some real time – a few hours if not an entire afternoon or morning and make that time all about you. Running to the grocery store or errands for your kids does not count. Take a class, meet up with friends or treat yourself to a spa day.
KEY #2 – BELIEVE IN YOUR ABILITIES
You raise tiny humans…your are freaking AMAZING!! Believe in yourself mama. I know it is so much more easier said than done, but this one is important. Self doubt is the thief of our joy. It tells us the lie that we aren’t good enough and that just isn’t true. We may have families and jobs and an entire To Do List that tries to tell us that some things aren’t possible, but they are. Anything is possible. We just have to be better about identifying what we want and then claiming it as part of who we are so we can make it a priority. And then of course the last part of reminding ourselves that we are worthy. No mom guilt. No comparisons.
Key #3 – FORGIVE YOUR PAST
Whoa is this one a difficult one for me to swallow. Weather it is you 10 years ago or you 10 minutes ago, FORGIVENESS is the answer. Making mistakes doesn’t make you bad. It makes you human. As mamas often times our head hits our pillows and all we can recount from our days were everything we did wrong. We let our kids watch too much TV. We had take out again this week. We didn’t get enough one on one with our kids. We were late again to school. FORGIVENESS. Things are going to happen. Bad days, months or even years are going to happen. We have to learn to forgive ourselves for what we think we did or didn’t do and instead of focusing on the past, put our energy into the future and focus on what we can do starting now.
And there ya have it. 3 Keys To Self Love. Bottom line, more love and grace for ourselves is what we need mamas. Things are going to happen, life is not going to slow down so we have to, HAVE TO, make the time for ourselves and start loving on ourselves as hard as that may be. Change up that To Do List and take off one or two things and instead add Do one thing that will make me happy today or spend time with someone who will make me happy today.
YOU ARE WORTH IT.
What are some ways you practice self love? How do you carve out time for yourself on a weekly basis?