Don’t you just love how things work out sometimes? Michelle and I sent out a survey asking all of you to tell us what you like/dislike about MWOA. We also asked you to share what you would like us to write about and what questions we could answer for you.
One of the topics that we saw pop up a few times was the dreaded topic of discipline. Ugh…..
I don’t know about you but I hate this topic. I hate and loth having to discipline my kids.
And I, like many of you, am in the middle of a disciplining my kids debacle!
Friends, I have great kids but lately we have been off track. We have had discipline problems from toddler tantrums to pre-teen mood swings!
I live in a house with 2 toddlers trying to figure out how far they can push their limits and what exactly is acceptable. They are also trying to figure out what level of tantrum will get the most attention!
I think they actually tag team each other from one tantrum to the next but I am sure they would disagree.
I also have a 9 year old, bless her heart (that is what you say in the south when you are REAL frustrated), who is going to land me in the loony bin if she doesn’t watch it.
Y’all… it is true when they say it just gets harder. The more emotions the harder it gets and I have so many years of emotions headed my way I may need a monthly vacation!
I am to the point where I have picked up every book recommended, looked online for tips and tricks and searched for advice from everywhere in between.
But, my greatest advice has come from my Mom friends!
I am NO expert when it comes to discipline, but when I put the heads and hearts of my wisest mom friends together I suddenly had a great list of discipline reminders that have encouraged and helped me redirect my kids and get them back on the right track.
1. Be CONSISTENT:
I swear this has to be one of the hardest parts of parenting! Being consistent day in and day out takes work folk and I fail royally at this on a daily basis. I am the worlds worst at being hard on something one day and just overlooking it the next. It’s not that I don’t care but most times it is that I am exhausted. Unfortunately, being a mom never stops so I am working on throwing that excuse out the door.
In our home we are working on doing things the first time, not the 3rd or 4th but the first. Not after I have counted to 5 so many times we have reached 500, but the first time.
Yesterday, I failed at this but today is a new day!
2. Learn What Works for EACH Child:
One thing I learned VERY quickly when I had my second child is that EVERY child is different. From the second each of my girls entered this world their distinct personalities shined through and it’s no different when they are disobedient.
Everyone has their own strongholds and what they have to work through. What works for one child may not work for the next! Figure out what makes each of your children tick and when it’s time to discipline learn what will be the thorn in their side.
I know it sometimes seems like we are also punishing ourselves when we punish our kids but do not relax on discipline to make it easier on you. If it means removing all electronics do it, if it means taking away a favorite toy do it, if it means spanking (I know controversial) do it, if it means stripping their room of EVERYTHING, do it! Our job is to mold them not be their friend!
3. Positive Reinforcement:
I learned this little trick from a teacher friends of mine. When disciplining behavior, if it seems like all punishment is not working try redirecting yourself and see if you get a different response. One goal in raising our little ones is to see obedience but sometimes when all they hear is what they do wrong they cannot see outside of that.
Make it a goal to recognize when they are showing positive behavior. When they have a nice tone of voice tell them you appreciate it. When they pick up their toys without you asking praise that behavior. Notice and point out the changes they are making.
Our kids long to please us and when we tell them that we are proud it will go further than any timeout or grounding ever will!
4. Pray for Them:
Do you pray for your kids? Do you spend time everyday praying with them and for them? You are not alone in this journey and every struggle you have God is right there waiting to guide you through it. He created these little ones and He knows their hearts.
He also knows the plans He has for them. Pray for your kids, be intentional about your prayers for them. Share the desires you have for your kids with Him. He wants to hear from you!
I recently started reading a book (suggested by one of my friends) called Praying Circles Around the Lives of Your Children by Mark Batterson. This book has changed the way I pray for my kids and I would suggest it to you as well. It is definitely worth the read!
We have a tough job Moms but we can do it, together! When you are in the middle of tantrums and mood swings remember you are not alone. We feel your pain!
Need to vent? Email us your struggles, we are here for you!
And although, we ARE the Moms WITHOUT Answers we are super excited about the awesome response we received through our survey.
Over the next few weeks and months be looking for posts or videos to pop up where we do our best to “answer” your questions or just royally confuse you with our lack of knowledge.
Either way like I said, we are all in this mom thing together so we hope whatever we have to share helps!
Oh so timely! I am a mom of an almost 8 yr. old daughter and a 30yr. old son . He, his wife and 15month old son living with my husband and myself. My daughter is playing with the 5 yr. Old neighbor most every day so we have pre teen drama with temper tantrums of a much younger child, along with a toddler who has been teething non stop for 6 months. I am so not kidding the kiddo has his 2year old molars already he has been compared to a teradactal and a cat killing a pigeon. The men in the white coats are stationed outside my door by 6pm ; bed time is my salvation as I am the babysitter at night for my grandson because his parents work swings. Consistency is the goal….. not the norm. As they feed on each others energy. Divide and concur that is my only tool to bring the volume and the chaos to a manageable level , little man gets time out in the chair or pack n play and little girl has learned the art of writing sentences . Prayer is a constant conversation with God that I stay the rock, my favorite verse 1Cor.13……has carried my thru my son ,4 foster children as teens and now this chapter of momma/ grandmomma. Thank you for this site , these tips are what I have done always but have been to tired to remember lately.
I also pray for myself, to have patience and understanding.