I love being a twin mom, I really do.
Sometimes the questions though….they really crack me up.
I know people mean well, and we always have a laugh about it. But sometimes I just am taken a back at what people will ask a total stranger.
When we were on our weekend getaway to the Woodlands, Channing got to see first hand all the attention the boys bring, and commented how they were their own little attraction.
And sometimes they kind of are.
So here is my round up of random questions and comments I get regularly as a twin mom.
“Are they twins”
No, they are triplets but we leave the ugly one at home. My husband longs to say this to someone but I have sworn him to a vow of silence and to just politely answer Yes. I can get the confusion and I know people have babies close in age all the time (um hello Everly and Elle) but this is by far the most common question we get.
“You have your hands full”
Indeed. My hands are full, my mini van is full, my laundry baskets….always FULL. The only thing that isn’t? My bank account. Those little boogers are pricey.
“You are done right”
Um………This one always rubs me the wrong way, I will just be honest. We are done having children of our own. My tubes are tied. Everyone can rest easy. I hope to one day soon be a gestational carrier however and I can only imagine the comments and questions I will get then. Not that my reproducing is your business total stranger.
“Are they natural”
This one to me is a little personal. And what the heck does it really even mean? To me it implies that there is something unnatural about the alternative and I just really dislike this question the most.
“Are they paternal”
Um…..yes, yes they do have a father. Last I checked there was only one immaculate conception. I think the word you are looking for is fraternal.
“Just wait until they get older”
Wait for what? It gets better? Worse? They turn into genies and grant me three wishes? I never understand this comment.
Ah, life of a twin mom. Never a dull moment.
Are you a twin mom? What kind of crazy questions do you get asked? Even if you aren’t a twin mom but have multiple children, the questions can be crazy am I right?
LOL!! “Are they paternal?” I mean……. really?????
I am the mother of fraternal twins. A boy & a girl. Everyone asks yes but “are they identical”? ????
yeeep that’s far buy the worst question. i haven’t even had my twins yet but sometimes i want to tell people uhh “are you educated?” of course they can’t be identical, they’re opposite sex.
I haven’t had mine yet either but have a lifetime of this question which has already started smh
I get this one all the time as well! But my personal fav….”are they the same age” left me speechless lol
Same here! I just laugh and answer “nope”!
Same!!! Really people?? They were actually born in the same day!!
I used to get asked the same of my boy/girl twins. I always said, “only from the waist up”. I mean, seriously???
My FRATERNAL daughters look like sisters. One is blonde, one brunette. Most often asked question was, “How do you tell them apart?” I so wanted to say we drew numbers on their feet. They are now in their thirties. When I see a mom with twins I want to comment but usually don’t. All moms are busy and don’t need stories about other people’s twins.
I have twin 4 year olds and LOVE to hear other twin stories. Especially from moms of grown up twins.
Those two little guys are adorable. I don’t have twins, but my two oldest look to be almost the same age. My daughter who is oldest is short and my son is tall so they are the same height. I have had multiple people ask if they are twins, and then ask if they are identical…. um, they are not twins, but they are both different genders so that equals out the identical thing. Also people saying, oh they could be twins, they look so much alike. Again, fraternal twins are no more alike then any sibling, so them looking alike if they were twins would be not needed. People are weird sometimes. Did they not learn basic genetics in school? I always wanted to have a twin sister, I am sure most did at some point though. Enjoy your little ones!
Best comment for me was when a man said to me and my twins…it would be so great if both babies could be born at the exact same time.
But when we are asked it my twins are “twins” my husband tells people “no…I carried on and my wife carried the other baby”.
I have 4 year old boy/girl twins. I am constantly asked if they are identical. It is really difficult to refrain from blurting out what I really want to but so far I have managed just fine! I know they say there is no stupid question but really c’mon now we are talking two completely different genders!! 🙂
I have boy/girl twins also and it seems insane how many times I get asked that question. I think quite a few peoe must have skipped that day in 6th grade science class.
I loved when my b/g twins were little I had people stop and ask if they were boys or girls. I had to try real hard not to have a smart mouth answer considering one was wearing blue and one was wearing pink.
AMEN! I would get the same question. I often wanted to say, “They are boys, I just dress one in pink and put a bow in his hair so I can tell them apart. You know, I really wanted a girl.”
We have Boy and Girl 35 year old twins…still asked if they are identical. Maybe not so politically correct but my response…no one has a penis. 🙂
I have twin boy/girl and I remember my supervisor asking me if they are “identical”…. I am glad he saw my initial reaction and what was going to come out my mouth! LOL BUT if anyone were to ask me that question again I am soooo ready to answer! lol
Yes! My boy/girl twins will be 4 next month and we get this question the most. What really gets me though are the people who try to argue with me that they could still be identical! ? Sheesh people! The other one that gets me is the comment about being “done” too. Right now the twins are our only children & we are infertile so we cannot have more biologically so everyone just blurts “jackpot”! Like Secondary infertility isn’t just as painful as the first time before IVF rounds. They don’t know; so I try to just gently brush it off.
As a grandmother of twins, I know the things that frustrates my DDIL the most is when strangers ooh and ahh over the twins and ignore the older sister who is only 1.5 yrs older. Sooon the younger one will be old enough to understand that she is left out of the strangers’ attention, too. So when I do see twins, I make it a point to say something like, “you have such precious children!” (I always refer to stranger babies as precious not beautiful because outward appearance is not as important as the fact that every individual is valuable and unique.) I also say things–twins or not– like, ‘God bless you, parents have the most important job in the world!” Or I give them a sincere complement about their children’s behavior if appropriate. But I have a question; Since strangers can hardly resist commenting, is there something else we can say that is helpful or encouraging, or would you prefer that we not say anything at all?
My oldest is 3 1/2 years older than his twin brothers. One day after months of people always just seeing the babies he said to me, “Don’t people even see me?” It just broke my heart. I started saying something about him when people would ask about his brothers. But 14 years later, after the most fabulous year of football, being the lead in the school musical, track and lots and lots of attention I think the younger brothers are starting to wonder if people ever see them now. I think encouraging comments always warmed my heart the most. Especially, “your being a good mom because…(then they say something nice about my children–like your son is always so kind to everyone or I like the oldest is so caring of his brothers)”
As a twin mom, I’ve learned that most comments are just because people are so excited to see such a miracle. (Though of course my two singletons were miracles too.) I like when people notice and ask if they are twins, or say my hands are full etc. It gives me a chance to say something nice about being a mother to combat all the bad things people think or say about parenting. And it also reminds me that I have some amazing gifts and to remain thankful for them. So – say what you like. What you said sounds perfect to me, since my older two get left out often as well. 🙂
I think what you had said about “they are precious” hits the nail on the head. I have boy/girl twins and they are very precious to me. I also have a 6 year old so I understand your daughter as well when she says the older sibling doesn’t get as much attention. All children are precious!
When my oldest son was 4 months old, I discovered I was 2 months pregnant with his sister. She was a little early, so they are just over 10 months apart. I remember walking through the grocery store with my baby balanced on my hip/tummy and I could hear these two little old women (whom I had never met) whispering about me just behind me. “Won’t you just look at that!” The first one said. “Already pregnant again!” The second one chimed in, “And she can’t be a day over 17!” Actually, I was married and 23, and completely ecstatic (after the initial shock, of course) because I had been told the chances of my getting pregnant and/or carrying a baby to full term were slim. I didn’t dignify the nosy old women with a response.
When the “Irish twins”, as my mama calls them, were 14 & 24 months old, I became pregnant with my youngest. Perfect stranger a would say, “Haven’t you figured out what causes that?!” To which I would raise my left hand, flash my wedding ring, and reply, “Yes, I do! And I have a license to do it!”
My twin girls are now 17. Their names are Hannah & Rachel. One of the many things that drove me nuts was the looks of disappointment on people’s faces when they would ask me their names. I think they expected their names to be rhyming or at least have the same first initial.
I make lots of baby gifts (I have a shop) the twin names I hear are terrible. Love yours.
I went full term with twin girls and then they were stillborn.
The “turn into genies” line made me laugh!!! Old people in Walmart always ask if my girls are twins. It’s mostly – but not always – when I have them dressed alike (as long as they’ll let me!). And they do look quite a bit alike, but they are 2 years apart. I can imagine when they are teenagers, they might still be asked that question. Being an introvert, I don’t usually make comments to anyone, much less strangers, so I usually just try to offer a smile – unless my girls are going crazy, and then I just pretend to be even more invisible!
It used to make me mad when people would say ” double trouble!” I think I was twice blessed! 🙂
As the mother of six young singletons, I also get strange (and rude comments). Are they all yours? I’m pretty sure I was there. Do they have the same father? Yes, and if they didn’t is that your business? You’re hands are full (usually said when I’m corralling one or more at the grocery store). How do you afford them? Hard work. You must be busy/crazy. I’m not asking you to do it. Do you know where they come from? I’m a nurse & read Genesis 1:28, bad water. Are they twins? Nope. And my poor only son gets his fair share of wisdom as well. But I also get compliments too, how well behaved they are, how beautiful, it must be nice to have so many siblings, so on and so forth. Lol, still working on some witty remarks:)
My identical girls are 6 and much less of a spectacle now. I never really minded the questions, but they can definitely get invasive. Nothing attracts attention like twin babies! My youngest was born when they were 23 months, so I definitely got a lot of comments about that too.
Hi, so I am not a twin mom. I have two boys a year And one day apart. The oldest was a preemie and didn’t come home from the hospital until I was 6months pregnant with our second. When my second was born at 9lbs, his older brother weighed 12lbs. My oldest has intestinal problems and will always have problems growing. When they were babies I carried two car seats, double stroller etc. I would get, “are they twins?” I would reply no and sometimes people would say, “are you sure? Are they both yours?” With weird looks on their faces. After a while I just started saying they were twins. It’s too much to explain. Believe me people, I know how many pregnancies I have had! Lol
I have two older boys (7 & 4) and then my b/g twins ( 9 months). I get asked often if they are identical (because they look so much alike ;-)). I’m also asked if my older two are twins. This just makes me giggle. I’ve been told my hands are full, usually when I’m struggling with all four in a grocery store.
The one that bothers me, if my older boys aren’t around, people will say “a boy and a girl? That’s perfect, you’re done then?” That’s when I like to tell them that I have two older boys. *sigh* I’ve often wondered if I said anything dumb to a twin parent before.
I have bo/girl twins and it cracks me up when ppl aa if they are identical….umm……no. One is a BOY and one is a GIRL. They also happen to be biracial and my little girl is more fare skinned compared to my son, so when I say yes they are twins ppl will then ask if I’m sure…..really!?
I have 9year old twin girls, 2 year old twin girls and 6 month old boy, and I get all those comments then some! I dislike the are they natural? And are you done or time for him to get fixed. People don’t understand that for some it wasn’t easy getting pregnant, so everyone of my kiddos are a blessing!
I have 2 year old boy/girl twins. I also have a 12 year old and 8 year old boys. I get comments all the time! My favorite is: “Are you sure they aren’t identical?” Yes, I am sure. Even if they favor, I am pretty sure that there are some parts there on one that aren’t there on the other.
I also have b/g twins and the best question i ever got was “are they identical? ” as i proceeded to point out the obvious. …boy….girl…..blond….brunette. ..yada yada blah blah….she shocked the hell out of me when she said “Im a twin also!” So i had to ask….fraternal or identical. ..”oh were fraternal and look nothing alike” REALLY! !!!!
I also have b/g twins and the best question i ever got was “are they identical? ” as i proceeded to point out the obvious. …boy….girl…..blond….brunette. ..yada yada blah blah….she shocked the hell out of me when she said “Im a twin also!” So i had to ask….fraternal or identical. ..”oh were fraternal and look nothing alike” REALLY! !!!!
I have 19 month fraternal twin boys. They look NOTHING alike. One has thin blond hair/dark blue eyes and the other has dark thick hair with big brown eyes. I STILL get asked if they are identical. -_- really? Do we need a dictionary over here to explain what identical means. I tend to smile and grit my teeth through the other questions. I’m pretty introverted, but the one question/ comment I get snarky on is “Wouldn’t it suck if you got twins the next time too?”
“Well it was a shock the first time, but it definitley DID NOT suck. I was double blessed before, and I damn sure will be if it happens again. Thanks for your concern.”
All in all, I tend to look over the misconceptions, and my boys are def a show case and attention grabbers everywhere we go. I feel bad for their other cousins and younger relatives, since the adults tend to pay ore attention to them.
Aside from those listed, my most frustrating one is “are you breastfeeding BOTH if them, their is no way you can make that much milk?!?” Yes, I am but is it really your business!
I have 10 month old twin girls
I have to say the most common and I think really personal question I get asked is did u give birth naturally?
They say it like its so amazing if I did but I think it would’ve been harder getting a c section, because ythey were both small they literally fell out he he, but it’s like people assume twins r pushed out at the same time, so stupid but u just smile and be polite anyway can’t stop people’s curiosity unfortunately
i have boy/girl twins. I was once asked this series of questions, “are they twins” “yes”, “are they identical” “no”, “are they both yours” “yes”.
Seriously people, if they were twins of course they’d BOTH be mine!
I have identical twin girls (now 19 years old). When they were babies, I used to get asked all the time if they were both mine. Nope, I had one and managed to find one that looked just like her to take out and wrangle in public.
Bless their hearts 😉
The only set of twins I had I lost to miscarriage, but there’s not a single question or comment on this list that I haven’t heard myself! I’ve had seven children (and several lost before birth), and the first five of those with my first husband were stair-steps – born in 1990, 1992, 1994, 1996, and then an 18-monther born in 1997 (would have finished the stairs if he hadn’t been born a month early, though!) Once the youngest reached about a year old, I was constantly asked if the last two were twins. My first two were a boy and a girl, and I absolutely *hated* hearing the comment that I “could stop now”! I don’t recall anyone ever asking me *if* I was done, just stating that I *was* done or I *could* stop – I had a nicely religious snarky comment to say back, and I always said it with the most charming, brilliant smile I could manage…and it never failed to shut them up completely. I used to say that, “Oh, no, I’m not done! Children are a blessing, and we need all the blessings we can get!” You say that with a sparkly, bubbly smile, and it completely flummoxes people. ^_~
Of course, now my first two born have passed on (car accident when they were 10 and 8, long enough ago that no condolences are needed, thank you) and I have a new husband and two more kids (who are 10 and 7 now) and people make soooo many comments about me having a boy and a girl that I like to give them the same bubbly airhead sarcastic smile and reply, “And a boy, a boy, a girl, a girl, and a boy. These are numbers and 7, and yes, I’m done now!”
I think the oddest response I’ve ever gotten to carrying a baby on my hip wasn’t something spoken out loud, though. I was not-quite 20 when my first child was born (conceived two months after I got married) and while I never tested this before I was 21, once I was old enough to buy alcohol, I discovered that if I carried a baby with me, I was never carded, but if I walked in by myself, they carded me *every* *time*. This continued up until I was 30 or so!
I wish I could edit that. It was meant to read “Condolences are NOT needed”, for example. And “These are numbers 6 and 7″…
I have 10 month old boy/ girl twins and I have been asked if they are identical and if they have the same father.
I have twin girls who are not identical but I have had people argue with me that they must be! I’ve also had people ask if I did it on purpose? Like really? Same with the question you had about it being personal! I get all those questions you had on every outing we make!
Mr and I have 21 year old identical twin boys. We always got the “Are they twins?” and “Are they identical?” I was always so tired that I just answered yes and yes. Then I would get “how do you tell them apart?” Well, they are our sons and I know them and they are different. I have even had a lady tell me they were not identical if I could tell them apart. Whatever. Now I am that person who does not ask anything but just says Congratulations and Enjoy them with a sappy look on my face. You don’t have time for a complete stranger to play 20 questions; go live your life!
my boy/girl are 16. I get asked all the time “are they identical?” um….no??? hehehe my response: Identical means….ahem…. IDENTICAL, body parts included. And so all of you who need to know–YES, it get easier!! Yes, it’s so much fun! Yes, it was all worth it! Yes, I’d do it all again! and YES–I would have had more kids had I known how easy they would be.
I have boys ages 2 and 4 with twin girls on the way. An older woman at the grocery store asked me what I did to be punished when she inquired about my pregnancy. It took everything I had to just walk away.
It’s never a dull moment with twins. Mine are very non-identical 6 year olds now, so the comments are fewer now. But the best one I ever got was from a woman in the grocery store who argued with me that they weren’t actually twins because they weren’t identical. She was adamant they were not twins. I was shopping with baby twins and a toddler and I just wanted to finish my shopping and get out and she would not shut up. I finally said “It sure felt like twins when I was pushing them out of my vagina one right after the other.” She couldn’t say much after that.
I used to get the same arguement. An older man actually grabbed my arm and wouldn’t let me leave the grocery store until he had “convinced ” me that my twins weren’t twins because one was a boy and one was a girl.
I have boy/girl twins and they were always clearly in pink and blue but we had so many people ask if they were boys or girls! Really?!
Thanks for posting this, I’m going to share it with my mom! She has 2 sets of twins girls 4 years apart. A question that my sister and I get all the time when people find out we are twins is “Who’s older?”. A perfectly legitimate question, just one that we hear all the time. So I started to respond “We’re the same age…. we’re twins!” And they get very confused………
I have a twin brother that passed away Aug. 28, 2014. People were always asking me if we were identical. lol Although we did look alike in our older years and had some of the same traits.
I am a mother of five. My youngest are twin girls. I have heard some of the same questions you have been asked. I too, like your husband, have wanted to give a smart answer to the “are they twins” question. Mine is always “no they’re puppies.” Lol!! Sorry but I too have refrained myself from doing it. I can’t believe that my older kids, 17, 14, & 12 are so close to their little sisters. The best question I have been asked, and it bugs my son who is the oldest, is ” is it a boy and girl?” At the time they are both dressed in pink with headband bows on their head…go figure. I love having twins. It is such a blessing. There is one statement that bugs me the most though. I hate it when people say ” I don’t envy you.” Maybe it’s a form of jealousy…I don’t know. No. Always taught me if you have nothing nice to say then don’t say anything at all. I thank God everyday for giving me these beautiful blessings. Your boys are so adorable. Wish I could show your girls.
my favorite all time comment was from a repairman who asked me if my fraternal, boy/girl twins were “Siamese Twins”. I had the hardest time keeping a straight face when I replied that, no, they were fraternal.
Found this on pinterest and had to come look….then had to giggle at the date it was originally published. The day after my twins turned 18!
And yes “just you wait”…..as it DOES get better, and better, and better. I have absolutely loved my adventure as their mom and look forward to “just waiting” for many more years.
My favorite question was when someone asks me if they are identical….when I respond yes they start pointing out differences…that one is a taller, this one is heavier. Well, yeah, they’re identical not clones!
As for the “are they natural”…..we were asked that many times, and my husband came up with the best response…..he would say something like, Oh yeah, and it was a great night, let me tell you about it…… Most times people quickly walked away, at least once someone would stand there wide eyed and mouth gaping while he made up some wild place and event where they were supposedly conceived.
One thing I have learned over the years….I think it just surprises people to see twins….in our case they are identical and even now at nearly 19 they love to dress alike, so they do stand out in a crowd. I think the surprise of seeing them just leaves people unsure what to say so they blurt out something because they want to know more.
The girls haven’t loved the pointing fingers and “look mom it’s twins”. But I am pretty sure they wouldn’t ever want to change the fact that they are twins.
I hope that your adventure is full of fun and laughter and you have as much joy in watching these creatures grow into young adults as I’ve had.
I have boy/ girl twins…they do look alike…I once had someone at church say…however do you tell them apart? Ummmmm, if it really gets tricky I just change them! Hahaha
I am a twin. And I am paternal and fraternal!!!! Haha
I have 16 yo twin girls. When they were still in a stroller, a trip to Walmart to get 3 items typically took about 45 min because so many people would stop and ask questions. One day a man asked if they were twins. Yes. Are they identical? Yes. Then, he asked, “So, does identical mean that you had 1 egg and it split or were there 2 eggs? Were they in the same sac?” A COMPLETE STRANGER – A MAN – was asking me these personal questions! Goodness! My girls were born at 29 weeks, weighing 2 1/2 lbs each. A lot of people were praying for us and them. I’ve loved having twins every step of the way. It’s been a new adventure with each stage, and I’m so thankful.
I have a twin brother and I always get asked if we are identical, even when he’s standing right there! When I explain that different genders can’t be identical, people say things like “but its one egg and 2 sperm right?” haha yes really!
seriously!
I’m a mom of triplet boys and we had another boy 19 months later. (The triplets are little for their age and my littlest is really, really tall, so they do look the same age) You can only imagine the questions/comments we get!
My twins are 3. I actually, very easily, convinced someone that only one was mine. I told him the other one was my baby’s doppelganger. He completely thought I stole a baby because he looked so much like mine.
Oh some people.
I have 2 1/2 ID boys. After all the dumb questions bout twins are answered then they say “I had my kids 15mo apart, which is like having twins” hahaha, you have no clue lady!
hahaha! This blog gave me a good laugh. I, too am a Mom to “paternal” twin boys. lol I have been asked all of those questions, too, even the “paternal” one. I also have two older boys, which were 3 years old and 17 months old when my twins were born , so when people comment that my hands are full, my response is always “both of them!” Also, I LOVE telling people I had 4 boys in 3 years. It always confuses people. Very few are “with” it and guess that I had twins in there somewhere. haha! I have to say that raising twins is such a joy. I have found that parenting them, as opposed to singletons, is much easier. I don’t know if it would be different had they been my first children. What do you think? Thanks for the fun read!
OH and also since my twins are fraternal (one has blonde hair/blue eyes, the other black hair/green eyes), I get the “Are they identical?” all the time. I used to pause before I answered, because I wasn’t sure if the person asking was joking. Nope. People just ask stupid questions sometimes. haha!
I’ve always wanted to tell people that my surrogate and I gave birth at the same time, but my husband thought it was too weird. I now ask how far apart they are….if their twins it’s minutes…few months if not.
I’m certain I’ve been one of the many stupid people..somewhere along the line. The thought of raising more than one at a time through each phase of life just sort of boggles/scrambles the brain/mind to those of us that haven’t walked that path I guess. (It truly is fascinating tho-you all are rock stars!!) I did get a tiny smidgen of a taste of twin life: I had my 3 in 3 years. My oldest had more of the tiny genes, middle child was average, and my youngest had more of the heftier ones, so they were very close in size for quite a while, and to top it off they were all similar enough in looks that I often was asked if “any” of them were twins or triplets. Also got the “you can stop now” (2 girls, 1 boy), “have you figured out how it happens yet?”, and the looks of shock and disapproval (was in my early 20’s). My husband found more humor in it at the time than I did. (We are a crude bunch-us humans-aren’t we?) ..I’m sorry for any painful ignorance on my part and am so grateful to all of you for your patient teaching ..of society 😉 Many and continued blessings to all of you and your wonderfully precious families! Thank you
Going from 0 to twins has been really hard ! Am Iissing setting? I mean I lovey babies as much as the rest of you bive me I went through hell to have one but it’s not thatch fun I’m exhausted its toouch sometimes and yes I would do it again but maybe have 1 furst and then the twins and no haveing babies months apart is not the same as having twins!
If I had a dollar everytime I got the “You’ve got your hands full” I wouldn’t have to worry about saving for their college funds. Mine are a boy and a girl. Everytime someone asks “Are they identical?” I want to say “Nope, there’s one little difference…”/
i have 8 year old fraternal twins. My son is 2 mins older than his sister. The most rediculous two questions were as follows:
Are they identical?
I bet your half crazy! Better you than me!
I used to find the comment of better you than me very offensive and used to brush it off at first , after a while I started to ask people if they cannot be nice in the comments, please be on their way.
But THE VERY WORST IS WHEN I WAS PREGNANT how people felt entitled to walk up and put their hands all over my belly without my permission.
I have 6 month b/b twins, I get asked all the time “we’re they planned” not sure how you ‘plan’ twins, I just answer ” one of them were”.
I am a mom of 17 yr old identical twin girls and a 12 yr old girl. All blonde and fair skin. I have had my share of crazy questions . My favorite response to are they twins comes from my husband. He always replys nope, identical strangers. That usually quiets them up fast. Sometimes i would respond as triplets but one didnt grow. Lol. It makes people think.
I always loved teaching my boys, when a stranger asks if they’re twins, to look at them and say, “no we’re monkeys”
It’s like walking around with celebrities. Everyone wants to stop and look at them.
i love reading your blog my girls are 17 now but the questions you posted bring back such funny memories……..i wish someone had done this 17 years ago
I have a cousin who’s mother in law had not one or even two, but THREE sets of fraternal twins….all boys. I’ve always thought that was so neat-having three sets. Maybe she should play the lottery I’m thinking.
I am an twin myself. The most awkward question my sister & I ever hear is “What is it like to be a twin?” My response is always “What is it like to not be a twin?” We’re 45 now, so we don’t hear this question much anymore. We used to hear it all the time, though!
I have fraternal twin boys that don’t look a thing alike, and have been asked for years “why do they have different haircuts”?
I have twin girls and then 15 months later had another baby girl. BEST QUESTION and I still get it to this day, ” are they all twins?” I always want to say something witty to point out that twin means 2 and a few times I’ve just said yes instead of explaining.
When they were really little one twin was chunkier than the other and people actually ask me if I fed the smaller twin…. I may have said a few times “only every other day, it’s her sisters turn to eat today”
I am an adult twin. I learned several facts at a young age. I know I was born first and that my sister and I are eight minutes apart. I know I was born at 5:15 in the morning. I know we were a surprise, as there was no routine ultrasound in 1970. Our hearts beat in unison, and my mom was told she was likely having a big boy, which was great because we have a brother 15 months older than us. Mom thought she was set! When I was born and weighed 5 pounds, Mom said “I’m not finished yet.” Dad had gone to the bathroom, because he was relieved the baby was here. He was surprised to see Mom holding two bundles when he came back.
When asked, “what’s it like to be a twin”, I say “it’s like having your best friend with you all the time.”
Try not to become irritated with people making conversation. They do so with joy in their hearts.
I have one year old fraternal girls. Constantly getting asked if they are natural, am I done, etc., but the best question I’ve been asked so far was “Are they twins or two babies?”……umm, both?
I have seven year old boy / girl twins and everyone used to always ask if they were identical. No, to be identical they have to be the same sex. They were babies 4 & 5 and we always got asked if we were done now. We had 3 older boys and then the twins so people assumed that since I finally got my girl i was all done. We are not done but we are not not done either – just waiting and seeing what happens next – it’s been 8 years since I was pregnant.
My twins are 12 now, one has bright red hair and the other has blonde hair. When they were about 7 moths old I had someone ask me if I dyed the ones hair red to be able to tell them apart…..ummmm….no?? I also had an instance when they were older, about 6. We were standing in line at a store and I noticed the lady in front of us taking peeks at them (They were dressing themselves and were not dressed alike). I was just holding my breath waiting for whatever question she was about to throw my way. She finally came out and asked, ‘are they twins or sisters close in age?’ Yes, I messed with her, I said..’they are sisters really close in age.’ She said ‘wow, how close?’, I said, ‘a minute.’ You should have seen the look on her face as she tried to process that.
When my baby girls were on the way and very little, the thing I was most offended by was that people would look at me in a certain way and say I had my hands full especially when I had an almost 3 year old. It made me mad because I thought my spacing was perfect, I didn’t know my fertilized egg would split and I’d get twins when I decided after giving my son 2 years of dedicated love and breastfeeding I was ready to have another child, a sibling for my son.
I also hated when the girls were on the way when someone would tell me they had twins but they miscarried or that one died. It would irk me terribly. Or when they would tell me I would eventually fail at breastfeeding them like they did or look at me like I was a savage for even wanting to try.
But I love it when people stop us and ask questions and I try to patiently answer all the questions even though I know they’ll just forget on the way home. My son usually chimes in with details about himself so he’s not left out and I usually hug him or smile reassuringly at him while his sisters are getting attention. It’s just that twins are so miraculous and we don’t mind sharing our miracle if it gives someone sunshine.
Whether I’m right or wrong, the only thing I ever say about any baby or babies, no matter what they are (twins, singles, trips, whatever) is “What a cutie!” (or the plural, if need be). It never fails to make the parents smile, and I haven’t made a fool of myself by asking inappropriate questions.
I do that because my son was a “beautiful” boy, so gorgeous that despite being always dressed in very much boy clothes, people would say “What a gorgeous little girl! Why isn’t she in a dress?” Jayson, when he reached the age of three, got so indignant at such stupid remarks that he would shout at them “I’m a BOY, not a girl, and Mom has me in the right clothes!!!” I never hushed him because if people are going to be so rude, then it was appropriate for him to stand up for himself. All parents should be able to enjoy their children without others making stupid remarks–and they are STUPID remarks much of the time.
My identical twin boys are now 27, and the questions everyone Has mentioned have not changed over the years. Twins are not very common and they are intriguing and people are curious and I believe that is why they engage parents of twins in conversation. Our twin boys went to the same college but had different majors. Throughout the years I think some of their funniest stories have come from people who do not know they are twins and happen to meet them both at different times, think they are seeing the same one again and then do not understand why the one they met first did not remember meeting them. One, we will call him Baby A for old time sake, had been through a long interview process with an accounting firm. His brother, Baby B an engineer, went to visit a Sunday school class, and one of the ladies in the class had interviewed Baby A and did understand why he would introduce himself with a different name and say he was an engineer and not an accountant. They have lots of great stories- being a mom of twins is such a blessing and I do believe that being a twin is such a blessing too! We had another son 5 years later and when he was little he always asked me why he did not have a twin brother.
I have fraternal twins that are now 11. I distinctly remember having conversations with strangers about whether or not they were my twins.
The conversation would go something like this: “Are they twins?”, “Yes they are!”, “Really!” , “Yes, really”, “Are they yours?”, “Yes, they are mine!”, “Really!”, “They couldn’t be yours, you couldn’t have carried them.” I’m assuming this comment was because I was fairly thin and the assumption being that I should be plump if I carried twins. Women come in all shapes and sizes and our bodies can perform some amazing tasks, thank GOD!
I’m very grateful for being able to carry my twins and everyone being healthy.
I just began to believe that people asked the weird questions because they really just wanted to come see the babies up close, and so they just asked awkward questions to start a conversation and get a closer peek. Most strangers mean well even if they seem like inappropriate questions.
We’ve got a daughter who just turned 3 and 10 month old boy/girl twins. I get asked, so often, “Are they identical?” And I want SO BADLY to let my super vulgar, only-comes-out-after-the-kids-are-in-bed personality do the talking and say “yes, my daughter has a penis!!!” Lol because really, I mean…can they really be identical if one is a boy and one is a girl?? I also love the “you have your hands full” one. Yes, yes I do. You’re very astute. ???
I have seven month old identical girls. My favorite is when people ask if twins run on my husband’s side or my side of the family. Neither actually and since they’re identical it doesn’t matter (identical twins are a total fluke) and fraternal twins only run on the mother’s side due to hyperovulation and has nothing genetically to do with the father’s side. And of course those people who say “I bet you don’t get must rest”. Do I looks like I don’t get much rest because they actually nothing sleep through the night and have since they were three months old.
I have seven month old identical girls. My favorite is when people ask if twins run on my husband’s side or my side of the family. Neither actually and since they’re identical it doesn’t matter (identical twins are a total fluke) and fraternal twins only run on the mother’s side due to hyperovulation and has nothing genetically to do with the father’s side. And of course those people who say “I bet you don’t get must rest”. Do I looks like I don’t get much rest because they actually nothing sleep through the night and have since they were three months old.
I have seven month old identical girls. My favorite is when people ask if twins run on my husband’s side or my side of the family. Neither actually and since they’re identical it doesn’t matter (identical twins are a total fluke) and fraternal twins only run on the mother’s side due to hyperovulation and has nothing genetically to do with the father’s side. And of course those people who say “I bet you don’t get must rest”. Do I looks like I don’t get much rest because they actually nothing sleep through the night and have since they were three months old.
I am a twin mom of 2 sets of twins. My first are boy/girl. I was always asked if they were identical. They have always had the sibling similarities but boys and girls have very obvious differences under the diaper.
My second set are girls and look very girly. Even while decked out in pink and bows, I’d be asked if they were boys. I know. They also couldn’t look more different. Blondie had green eyes and porcelain skin and her sister has dark brown hair and eyes with an olive complexion to be envious of!
The comment we get now is that we need another set so that we can have our own reality show. I believe I’ll pass on that one!
I hate it when people ask me if I am don’t having kids since I have boy/girl twins. I really want to say b*@ch I might be!
I haven’t had my twins yet (arriving any day) but I got asked once if I was going to keep both of them or just the cuter one! Seriously people??
Lolll so funny and accurate the weirdest question was from a lady at the store asking me are they twins ? Yes .are they identical ? Nope one has curly blond hair and the other one has straight black hair. So they are both girls? Yes they are both girls. How come one has a pink skirt and the other one has blue denim pants? Well…..that’s what I had washed today lolll but the worst is coming,she asked ( no jokes very seriously) : are you sure they are both girls ? Lollllllll last time I changed their diapers they were definitely both girls,but I think hurry and go home to double check just in case lollll she made my day
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I get all the time questions about whether I had a csection or not. One lady that worked at costco asked me and said I probably didnt have “a vaginal birth” while rolling her eyes. When I said I did with my identical twins she yelled “goodgirl”! And high fived me. I didnt know having twins would make everyone okay with talking about my vagina in public.
I was out and bottle-fed one of the twins…apparently that makes me a bad mum…someone came up to me and told me that if I ate well enough and had enough patience I would be able to exclusively breastfeed the twins…no need to stuff their bodies full of artificial stuff which is full of bad hormones and chemicals. Sigh.