All words you will hear me shout in the morning while getting my crew ready for school.
There is something about school mornings that simply stress. me. out.
I have never considered myself a patient person, but it wasn’t until just recently that I realized just how bad I have gotten.
I am always rushing my family. And honestly, I have no idea why I do it.
Megan was playing with her toys the other day and she was playing school and she started shouting at her dolls to “move faster, we don’t want to be late”. It wasn’t so much the words but her tone and when I asked her why she was talking so ugly to her dolls, she looked up at me and said “I am the mommy and mommies yell at their babies to hurry”.
I can’t blame that learned behavior on teachers or friends from school, that yelling was all me.
Our friend Chelsea was over one afternoon not to long ago for a play date and she blew me away with her patience when dealing with her kids. Like, I just stood there in awe and wanted her to lay hands on me and transfer her patience and calm nature over into me. I watched her and once again I was convicted and I knew I needed to take note and really start to practice my patience.
And that is just what I have been doing, practicing. It isn’t easy but I know that to be an effective mom, I need to stop always yelling. I am tired of yelling. These five things, as silly as they may seem have really been helping me work on my patience.
1) Recognize your triggers. For me, my mornings were a big trigger that always led to yelling and being frustrated. Once I recognized this, it was easier to take action. And that has meant changing up our morning routine. Waking up earlier. Prepping more the night before. Sometimes I am tired and I don’t like it and want to sleep earlier/or in later, but when I feel like we are late or rushed I become angry and quickly resort to yelling. And I don’t want my kids to be stressed and yelled at as I am dropping them off for school. They leave the car defeated, and I leave the car feeling even more defeated and like a failure.
2.) Take A Time Out. Yup, sometimes mama needs to go stand in the corner. Or the bathroom. Or any place you feel safe and alone to take a few deep breaths, and get your emotions in check.
3.) Focus On The Big Picture. Oh how many times I have lost my temper over the silliest of things. Sometimes I have to take a step back and remind myself that they are just kids. They are supposed to be messy and unreasonable. They aren’t supposed to be those things all the time, but sometimes I lose sight of what is really important and stress over a mess or the dishes in the sink instead of seeing those things as blessings.
4.) Fake It. Yup I said it. Fake it until you make it ladies. Let’s not pretend that we all haven’t done the whole yelling at the kids in the car about everything under the sun and then the teacher opens the door at the car rider drop off and all of a sudden we do a quick 180 and it’s “Mommy loves you sweetie, have such a good day. Kisses.” in our best mom voice. You know what I am talking about….we are all guilty. If we can fake it for the teachers or strangers in the stores, why can’t we just fake it at home? Pretend there are cameras watching…you would be surprised how much it can change your attitude.
5.) Pray. Pray and pray often. Pray for your kids. For your spouse. For yourself. Pray for wisdom and patience. I have been waking early before everyone else in my house and just praying and focusing on James 1:19-20. Quick to listen. Slow to speak. Slow to anger. It isn’t easy and so I pray daily and remind myself of that verse.
What about you mamas? What are some ways that you practice patience? Do you find yourself quick to listen and slow to anger like our friend Chelsea, or do you lose your cool more times than you care to admit like me?