Sometimes it seems like a four letter word.
It’s one of the the most frustrating things that we as parents have to deal with. Some of us are blessed with children that potty train rather quickly (hello, fist child who practically potty trained herself) and then others find it to be far more challenging. And by others I clearly mean ME.
My middle child was a NIGHTMARE to potty train. Like we are talking poop therapists (yeah I bet you didn’t know that was a thing did you) and toddler enemas…so it’s really no wonder why I have stalled on potty training the twins.
Well that and the main reason of course….. THEY AREN’T READY.
They do not tell me when they are wet, or even when they have pooped. They still wake up from both bedtime and nap time soaking wet. And then of course there is the whole being terrified of the actual potty part. We have tried the small plastic potties, we have tried the potty seat cover with their favorite characters on them, we have tried bribes and big boy underwear and more and they still absolutely refuse.
When people find out that the boys aren’t potty trained we get a lot of “Oh, little Jonny was that way and we read this book called 85 ways to make you lose your mind while forcing your kid to pee on the potty and it saved our lives” And maybe it really did save their lives and help their child, I don’t know. But here is the thing. I have read those books too and for MY boys it’s not an option. I am not going to force them to get anywhere near something they are terrified of.
So, what’s a mama to do when her toddler won’t potty train?
- Embrace the fact that they aren’t ready and don’t hold it against them. And possibly more importantly, don’t hold it against yourself. Your child’s potty training is not a reflection on your parenting.
- Remember that they won’t go to college in pull ups (even on the days when it feels like they might)
- Know that friends and family are going to want to share their advice and stories with you and that is all it is, advice and a story. It’s not the word of the Lord. It’s not the end all be all. If you don’t think it will work for your child, you don’t have to do it. People mean well, they just want to help.
Right now, instead of focusing on the actual potty training itself, we are focusing on making the potty seem less of a scary place. We try and keep it positive and not pressure the boys in any way. We read a lot of stories about the potty. So far our favorites are Everyone Poops, The Potty Book For Boys, and Uh Oh! Gotta Go. No major progress has been made, but that is ok. It really is.
They say timing is everything and it seems that right now, it’s just not our time. One day it will be, and when it is, we will be ready.
Did you have an easy time potty training your children? What was your favorite book you read about the potty or potty training?
Elna | TwinsMommy says
What adorable twins! I have twin toddlers too. A boy and a girl. My girl was a breeze to potty train, but my son had issues. Both are considered potty trained, but my son can’t sleep through the night without wetting the bed a few times a week, so I put him in diapers.
I trained them around 16 or 17 months in the summer. Just had them naked, running around. If they played outside, I just moved the potties out there. Stayed close to home. No pull-ups. Took a few months for day training to be consistent. A few more months for sleep training.
I never pushed my son and just waited. I think boys take a bit longer to train and that’s OK. He’s three and sleeps with a diaper at night, no big deal. If it makes him feel safe and comforted, then I’ll leave it.
Happy to meet another twin mama!
Love being a twin mom! My oldest girl was a breeze. My middle was really hard (I think had a lot to do with the twins being born and then family members pushing her before she was ready) and then my boys just have zero interest.
Brittany Ashmore says
I NEEDED TO READ THIS TONIGHT!!!!!!!! Ainsley has regressed and wants nothing to do with underwear rigjr now! Great post!
Thank you for this! My twins are 4 and we aren’t there yet. Never felt the issue like I do now…they have to be trained before preschool in the fall!!
Can I ask if they are potty trained now? I’m having the hardest time with my 4 year old daughter
They are potty trained! Not to worry, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Yay, so you’re saying there’s hope! Lol! Any advice? Please?
My son is 3 1/2. He has used the toilet and even pooped some in it months ago. We have been trying to potty train for a year. He knows how, isn’t afraid of it, just won’t do it. Sometimes he does great! Been without us asking him to do it. But now it has been a week since he’s used it. We are at out whits end!
Thanks for this. I’m finding all these “My 18 month old potty trained herself in 12 minutes” types of articles and it’s so depressing. I have a three year old girl who just doesn’t get it. I’m at my wit’s end.
My daughter is 4. Almost 5. Refuses. Help
Have you guys gotten the training down yet? You’re post is my life exactly…
Sara Schwab says
I have a 4 yr old boy who ( after going to a preschool that did not require potty training YMCA) has finally sat on the potty and goes “sometimes”. He just doesn’t care about it. I think his major issue is motivation. Bribes wear off and I have to keep upping his “prize.” He was never one to tell me when he pooped or if his diaper was full. I think boys just take a little time and I am learning not to care what other parents think. The jump starter for him was going to school and being peer pressured and learning from other kids.
My son was doing well going pee, but recently hit a regression and it’s killing me. I tried just putting him in underwear but he would still poop in it and not care. He’s 3 and it still might be a while until he is fully there but with another nugget coming in a few months I’m hoping he gets it before then!
My 4 year old just won’t get it! Or doesn’t care enough. I am not sure if she does not want to stop whatever she is doing and go to the toilet, or has some kind of a physical problem. Can someone please give me some kind of advice that help her with the training? My daughter sometimes tell me she is wet, she knows how to stop abd continue in the toylet, but she never ones told me before she starting peeing.
Akeisha Wright says
This was something i needed because even though for my three year old it would save me money because I also have a six month old, my three year old isn’t ready. she changes her own pull ups and has tried to wipe herself if i didn’t change her quick enough by when I tried to put her on the potty she would scream her head off. Plus her pull ups are still soaking wet so I’ve just concluded that she wasn’t ready. My oldest was fully potty trained at four closer to five. I would like to have advice on potty training for working moms. That was a big obstacle for when trying to potty train my oldest daughter.