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Welcoming a Sibling: When Big Sister Misses Mommy

December 12, 2016 By Jessica Beer Leave a Comment

I don’t think I’ll ever forget that moment. I was sitting on the couch, exhausted and nursing Ella for what felt like the millionth time that morning, when Abbie came over to me, gave me a hug, and said:

“Mommy, I miss you.”

Cue my heart breaking in a million pieces.

Becoming a big sister is an exciting time, but it brings its own share of issues. What happens when big sister misses mommy?

She’d been home with me every day for three days, but I had spent most days tending to Ella and not her. I hadn’t been able to actually BE with her. There had been no puzzles or coloring, no playing with bubbles outside, no time sitting on the floor of her room playing with her dollhouse.

There I was, exhausted from taking care of Ella around the clock. I missed time with my husband and time for myself. Most of all, I was missing exactly the same thing Abbie was – time with my big girl.

When I was pregnant, Chris and I worked hard to try to explain to Abbie what was going to happen when Ella arrived, and that she would take up a lot of our time, especially mine. We emphasized how she was going to be the big girl, that baby sister would need help from her too. We did absolutely everything we could to keep her routine as normal as possible. We were concerned she would be jealous or resentful of Ella, but that hasn’t been the case at all. Abbie has accepted Ella with open arms and already loves her fiercely.

What she’s had trouble accepting is her changing relationship with us – me especially. Since I’m nursing, most days I spend glued to Ella. During the week when Abbie’s at daycare, it isn’t an issue, but weekends? Weekends are tough. Abbie is used to being able to do things with us on the weekends, and lately I feel like I’m fighting to just get the basics done. There’s also the fact that every time I get a spare moment to play with Abbie, it seems that’s exactly the moment Ella wakes up or starts crying to eat. It’s been tough on my big girl.

I wish I could say I’m handling it, or that I have all the answers, but the truth is I don’t. I don’t think any of us are 100% prepared for what happens when our family expands, whether it’s your first child or your fifth. In so many ways, this time around has been easier, but in others it’s been infinitely harder, and missing my big girl is the hardest part of all.

View More: http://mathyshootspeople.pass.us/beerfamily

Moms – did you have a hard time with your older kids when adding a new baby to your family? What did you do to carve out time for them?

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Filed Under: Mom Life, Parenting Tagged With: big sister, Family, new baby, parenting, Second Baby, siblings

About Jessica Beer

Hi there! I'm Jess. I'm wife to Chris and mom to Abbie (3) and our newest little one, due late October! I'm a working mom in the DC metro area, and I firmly believe that each mom should have the choice to do what's best for her and her family. I love coffee (what mom doesn't?), college football (Let's Go Hokies!), and have never met a stranger. Giving perfect gifts is my love language, but I'm terrible at receiving them. I strive to write about every piece of my life and motherhood - from the highlights to the challenges. We're all in this motherhood thing together, and I'm so excited to be here and get to know you!

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Hi, friends! I’m Channing. I am mom to 3 amazing girls and wife to my fire fighting hubby, Eric. I loving sharing all things mom life related – recipes, DIY’s, real mom talk, crafts and more! 

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#QuarantineCreations #IceCreamforDinner #FamilyTraditions #ad
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I have spent time with old friends and new and the magic is always there. 
If you scroll back far enough, you will see my first Disney experience and the moment I fell in love with Disney with my own mom! 
I would love for you to play along and share your favorite Disney moments with the moms in your life! Don’t forget to use hashtag #disneymagicmoments! I tag @pixiemousemichelle, @fivefortheroadblog and @mrsblinks! 
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Instagram post 17850899390014309 Disney is challenging us to share our first pictures with characters! I had to join in the fun and it was the best trip down memory lane. Disney has been threaded throughout my entire life. I pulled a few of my most favorite memories over the years. From partying in the streets during the most epic dance party and meeting our most favorite princesses to me being a kid at Disney myself. Oh, I also had to add a picture of Cinderella’s Castle. She really is the most beautiful cast member of them all! 
@waltdisneyworld we miss you more and more each day. You’ve brought us joy beyond words and we cannot wait for the day when we get to walk down Main Street USA again! 
Ok, now it’s your turn. Find your old photos of your favorite Disney characters and share the magic. Also, don’t forget to tag me. I want to see all your memories too! 
@pixiemousemichelle @ericaligenza and @prettyprovidenceblog it’s time to share yours!#disneymagicmoments #myfirstdisneycharacter #disneycreators #disneyfamily #disneykuds #disneyworld
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Let’s take it back to the #happiestplaceonearth and our time in Star Wars Galaxy’s Edge! Y’all, I don’t even have words for how amazing it is. And #riseoftheresistance is everything! Check out our video to see for yourself. We miss you @waltdisneyworld and can’t wait to make more memories soon!
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