What I Want my Daughter to Know About Friendship

Hey all! I am so, so excited to be contributing here on Moms Without Answers! I can’t wait to get to know all of you and share more in the months to come. I’ll be talking about motherhood as I know it right now – to my little girl, Abbie.

At three years old, Abbie is just now starting to make real friends. While she’s always had other kids to play with at daycare, I think the idea of friendship was lost on her until now. A few weeks ago, Abbie got to play with a little girl that lives two doors down from us for the first time. At only 3 months older than Abbie, she’s the perfect first playmate. As I sat there watching them color with chalk on our front steps, I couldn’t help but think of my own friendships, even as young as Abbie is now. 

My friendships have changed so much since I was a kid, as they should. They’ve gone from friendships of close distance  to friendships with people I’ve never met in real life (thanks blogging). Every single one is different, and every single one has taught me something. 

There are my first friends, the ones who just happened to live nearby. The ones I learned how to play from, how to share, how to cooperate. The ones that just wanted to run around outside or play Barbies for hours on end. Live was simple for me then, and so were my friendships – the way Abbie’s initial friendships will be.

As I got older, I started to make the friends that would carry me through my school years – the elementary school ones that were my first confidants, the middle school friends that I shared the most awkward years with (I mean, who likes middle school? Nobody.), and the high school friends that were by my side as I figured out where I was going, dealt with NOT being the popular kid (I was the nerdiest high schooler. Seriously.), and discovered my passions in life.

Then came my college friends, who are some of my closest friends. I really grew up and discovered who I was and wanted to be during college, and these friends let me do it. We grew together, with no judgment. Some of these women are my sorority sisters, and some are not, but I feel we’re all in a kind of sisterhood. To this day, I know I can tell them anything at all and they will be there for me.

There are the friends I’ve made since college – the ones that have helped me navigate life as an adult. The ones I’ve worked with, attended weddings and baby showers with, the ones I see on a regular basis. They are the friends I see most often, and they understand my daily life in a way no one else can.

Finally, my blogger friends – ones that I’ve never met in real life but often feel closest of all to. Through writing, we’ve learned each others’ hearts and personalities, and I feel I know these women just as well, if not better, than some of my real life friends.

So, to my daughter, who is just now discovering friendship – take them all in. Each friendship in your life will serve a purpose, no matter its length. There are people I was close to in high school that I don’t even know where they are now. There are people I met at work who are some of the first I confide in. There are women I knew as an awkward middle schooler that I’m not as close to now, but would still count among my best friendships.

That said, friendship isn’t easy. Friendships can be (and often are) longer relationships than romantic ones. You will disagree, you will fight, you will have periods of time where you don’t talk at all. You may have falling outs or never talk to that person again. At the same time, friendships can be incredibly easy – your best memories may be with your friends, doing everything from hanging out watching Netflix to girls’ trips to your wedding days.  Each one is important serves a purpose in your life. Each one is one you can learn from.

So soak it all in, and I’ll be there along the way. After all, my mom is my first girlfriend, and I hope you consider me yours.